I can no longer difagree with you, tho' in jeft. Oh how heartily I join with you in your contempt for Excellency and Grace, and in your efteem of that moft noble title, Loiterer. If I were a.man of many plums, and a good heathen, I would dedicate a Temple to Lazinefs: No man. fure could blame my choice of fuch a Deity, who confiders that when I have been fool enough to take pains, I always met with fome wife man able to undo my labours.

Your, etc.

You OU were in a very polemic humour when you did me the honour to answer my laft. I always understood, like a true controvertift, that to answer is only to cavil and quarrel however, I forgive you; you did it (as all Polemics do) to fhew your parts. Elfe was it not very vexatious, to deny me to commend two women at a time? It is true, my Lord, you know women as well as men: but fince you certainly love them better, why are you fo uncharitable in your opinion of them? Surely one Lady may allow another to have the thing the herfelf leaft values, Reason, when Beauty is uncontefted. Venus herself could allow Minerva to be Goddefs of Wit, when Paris gave her the apple (as the fool herfelf thought) on a better account. I do fay, that Lady P* is a reasonable woman; and I think, the will not take it amifs, if I fhould infift upon efteeming her, inftead of Toafting her, like a filly thing I could name, who is the Venus of thefe days. I fee you had forgot my letter, or would not let her know how much I thought of her in this reasonable way: but I have been kinder to you, and have fhewn your letter to one who will take it candidly.

3

But for God's fake, what have you faid about Politicians you made me a great compliment in the truft you reposed in my prudence, or what mischief might not I have done you with fame that affect that denomination? Your Lordship might as fafely have fpoken of Heroes. What a blufter would the God of the winds have made, had one that we know puff'd against olus, or (like Xerxes) whipp'd the feas? They had dialogued it in the language of the Rehearsal,

I'll give him flash for flash
I'll give him dafh for dash-

But

But all now is fafe; the Pocts are preparing fongs of joy, and Halcyon-days are the word.

I hope, my Lord, it will not be long before your dutiful affection brings you to town. I fear it will a little raife your envy to find all the Mufes employed in celebrating a Royal work *, which your own partiality will think inferior to Bevis-Mount. But if you have any inclination to be even with them, you need but put three or four Wits into any hole in your Garden, and they will out-rhyme all Eaton and Westminster. I think, Swift, Gay, and I could undertake it, if you don't think our Heads too expensive: but the fame hand that did the others, will do them as cheap. If all elfe fhould fail, you are fure, at leaft of the head, hand, and heart of your fervant,

Why fhould you fear any disagreeable news to reach us at Mount Bevis? Do as I do even within ten miles of London, let no news whatever come near you. As to public affairs we never knew a deader feafon: 'tis all filent, deep tranquillity. Indeed, they fay, 'tis fometimes fo juft before an Earthquake. But whatever happens, cannot we obferve the wife neutrality of the Dutch, and let all about us fall by the ears? Or if you, my Lord, fhould be prick'd on by any old fashion'd notions of Honour, and Romance, and think it neceffary for the General of the Marines to be in action, when our Fleets are in motion; meet them at Spithead, and take me along with you. I decline no danger where the glory of Great Britain is concern'd; and will contribute to empty the large bowl of punch that fhall be rigg'd on fuch an occafion. Adieu, my Lord, and may as many Years attend you, as may be happy and honour

able!

LETTER XXXVI.

From the Earl of PETERBOROW.

You must receive my letters with a juft impartiality, and give grains of allowance for a gloomy or rainy day; I fink grievoufly with the weather glats, and am quite fpiritlefs when opprefs'd with the thoughts of a Birthday or a Return.

Dutiful affection was bringing me to town, but unduti ful lazinefs, and being much out of order, keep me in the

The Hermitage.

E e 2

country;

country; however, if alive, I muft make my appearance at the Birth-day. Where you fhewed one letter you may fhew the other; fhe that never was wanting in any good office in her power, will make a proper excufe, where a fin of Omiffion, I fear, is not reckoned as a venial fin.

*

I confent you fhall call me polemic, or affociate me to any fect or Corporation, provided you do not join me to the Charitable Rogues, or to the Pacific Politicians of the prefent age. I have read over Barkley in vain, and find, after a ftroke given on the left, I cannot offer the right cheek for another blow all I can bring myself to, is to bear mortification from the fair fex with patience.

You seem to think it vexatious that I fhall allow you but one woman at a time, either to praife, or love. If I difpute with you upon this point, I doubt every jury will give a verdict against me. So, Sir, with a Mahometan indulgence, I allow you pluralities, the favourite privilege of our church.

I find you do not mend upon correction; again I tell you, you must not think of women in a reasonable way: you know we always make Goddefles of thofe we adore upon earth; and do not all the good men tell us, we must lay afide Reafon in what relates to the Deity?

'Tis well the Poets are preparing fongs of joy: 'tis well to lay in antidotes of foft rhyme, againft the rough profe they may chance to meet with at Weftminster. Ifhould have been glad of any thing of Swift's pray when you write to him next, tell him I expect him with impatience, in a place as odd, and as much out of the way as himself. Yours.

LETTER XXXVII.

From the fame..

Whenever you apply as a good Papift to your female Mediatrix, you you are fure of fuccefs; but there is not a full affurance of your entire fubmiffion to Motherchurch, and that abates a little of your authority. However, if you will accept of country-letters, fhe will correfpond from the hay-cock, and I will write to you upon the fide of my wheelbarrow: furely fuch letters might efcape examination.

Your idea of the Golden Age is, that every fhepherd might pipe where he pleafed. As I have lived longer, I am more moderate in my wifhes, and would be content with the liberty of not piping where I am not pleased.

Oh how I wish, to myfelf and my friends, a freedom which Fate feldom allows, and which we often refuse ourfelves! why is our Shepherdess * in voluntary flavery? why muft our Dean fubmit to the Colour of his coat, and live absent from us? and why are you confined to what you cannot relieve?

I feldom venture to give accounts of iny journeys beforehand, because I take refolutions of going to London, and keep them no better than quarrelling lovers do theirs. But the devil will drive me thither about the middle of next month, and I will call upon you, to be fprinkled with holy water, before I enter the place of Corruption. Your, etc.

LETTER XXXVIII.

From the fame.

Am under the greatest impatience to fee Dr. Swift at Bevis-Mount, and muft fignify my mind to him by another hand, it not being permitted me to hold correfpondence with the faid Dean, for no letter of mine can come to his hands.

And whereas it is apparent, in this Proteftant land, moft efpecially under the care of divine providence, that nothing can fucceed or come to a happy iffue but by Bribery; therefore let me know what he expects to comply with my defires, and it fhall be remitted unto him.

For tho' I would nor corrupt any man for the whole world, yet a benevolence may be given without any offence. to confcience; every one muft confess, that gratification and corruption are two diftinct terms; nay at worst many good men hold, that for a good end, fouie very naughty measures may be made use of.

But, Sir, I muft give you fome good news in relation to myself, becaufe, I know, you with me well; I am cur'd of fome difeafes in my old age, which tormented me very much in my youth.

I was poffeffed with violent and uneafy paffions, fuch as

* Mrs. H.

a peevish

a peevish concern for Truth, and a faucy love for my Country.

When a Chriftian Prieft preached against the Spirit of the Gofpel, when an English Judge determined against Magna Charta, when the Minifter acted against Common Senfe, I used to fret...

Now, Sir, let what will happen, I keep myfelf in temper: As I have no flattering hopes, fo I banifh all useless fears; but as to the things of this world, I find myself in a condition beyond expectation; it being evident from a late Parliamentary inquiry, that I have as much ready money, as much in the funds, and as great a perfonal eftate, as Sir Robert S-tt-n.

If the Tranflator of Homer find fault with this unheroic difpofition, or (what I more fear) if the Draper of Ireland acufe, the Englishman of want of fpirit: I filence you both with one line out of your own Horace, Quid te exempta juvat fpinis e pluribus una? For I take the whole to be fo corrupted, that a cure in any part would be of little avail. Your, etc.

LETTER

XXXIX.

Dr. SWIFT to the Earl of PETERBOROW.

MY LORD,

I Never knew or heard of any perfon fo volatile and fo fix'd as your Lordship: You, while your imagination is carrying you thro' every corner of the world, where you have or have not been, can at the fame time remember to do offices of favour and kindnefs to the meaneft of your friends; and in all the fcenes you have paffed, have not been able to attain that one quality peculiar to a great man, of forgetting every thing but injuries. Of this I am a living witness against you; for being the moft infignificant of all your old humble fervants, you were fo cruel as never to give me time to ask a favour, but prevented me, in doing whatever you thought I defired, or could be for my credit or advantage.

A

I have often admired at the capricioufnefs of Fortune in regard to your Lordship. She hath forced Courts to act againft their oldeft an moft conftant maxims; to make you a General because you had courage and conduct; an Ambaffador, because you had wisdom and knowledge in the interefts of Europe; and an Admiral on account of

your