which I fhall teach you, and always practifed myfelf with fuccefs. I believe I formerly defired to know whether the Vicar of Aimbury can play at back-gammon; pray ask him the queftion, and give him my fervice.

I was the moft unwary creature in the world, when, against my old maxims, 1 writ firft to you upon your return to Tunbridge. I beg that this condefcenfion of mine may go no farther, and that you will not pretend to make a precedent of it. I never knew any man cured of any inattention, although the pretended caufes were removed. When I was with Mr. Gay laft in London, talking with him on fome poetical fubjects, he would anfwer; "Well I am determined not to accept the employment of Gentleman-ufher;" and of the fame difpofition were all my poetical friends, and if you cannot cure him, I utterly defpair. As to yourfelf, I will fay to you (though comparifons be odious) what I faid to the that your quality fhould be never any motive of efteem to me: My compliment was then loft, but it will not be so to you. For I know you more by any one of your letters than I could by fix months converfing. Your pen is always more natural and fincere and unaffected than your tongue; in writing you are too lazy to give yourself the trouble of acting a part, and have indeed acted fo indifcreetly that I have you at mercy and although you should arrive to fuch a height of immorality as to deny your hand, yet, whenever I produce it, the world will unite in fwearing this must come from you only.

I will answer your queftion. Mr. Gay is not discreet enough to live alone, but he is too difcreet to live alone; and yet (unlefs you mend him) he will live alone even in your Grace's company. Your quarrelling with each other upon the fubject of bread and butter, is the most ufual thing in the world; Parliaments, Courts, Cities, and Kingdoms quarrel for no other caufe; from hence, and from hence only, arife all the quarrels between Whig and Tory; between thofe who are in the Miniftry, and thofe who are out; between all pretenders to employment in the Church, the Law, and the Army: even the common proverb teaches you this, when we fay, It is none of my bread and butter, meaning it is no bufinefs of mine. Therefore I defpair of any reconcilement between you'till

Z z 2

the

the affair of bread and butter be adjusted, wherein I would gladly be a mediator. If Mahomet fhould come to the mountain, how happy would an excellent lady be, who lives a few miles from this town? As I was telling of Mr. Gay's way of living at Aimsbury, fhe offered fifty guineas to have you both at her houfe for one hour over a bottle of Burgundy, which we were then drinking. To your question I antwer, that your Grace fhould pull me by the fleeve till you tore it off, and when you faid you were weary of me, I would pretend to be deaf, and think (acording to another proverb) that you tore my cloaths to keep me from going. I never will believe one word you fay of my Lord Duke, unless I fee three or four lines in his own hand at the bottom of yours. I have a concern in the whole family, and Mr. Gay muft give me a particular account of every branch, for I am not ashamed of you tho' you be Duke and Duchefs, tho' I have been of others who are, etc. and I do not doubt but even your own fervants love you, even down to your poftilions; and when I come to Aimfbury, before I fee your Grace I will have an hour's converfation with the Vicar, who will tell me how familiarly you talk to Goody Dobfon and all the neighbours, as if you were their equal, and that you were godmother to her fon Jacky.

I am, and shall be ever, with the greatest repect, your Grace's moft obedient, etc.

B. A

LETTER LX.

Dublin, O&. 3, 1731,

I

Ufually write to friends after a paufe of a few weeeks, that I may not interrupt them in better company, better thoughts, and better diverfions. I believe I have told you of a great Man, who faid to me, that he never once in his life receiv'd a good letter from Ireland: for which there are reasons enough without affronting our underftandings. For there is not one perfon out of this country, who regards any events that pafs here, unless he hath an eftate or employment. I cannot tell that you or I ever gave the leaft provocation to the prefent Ministry, and much less to the Court; and yet I am ten times more out of favour than you. For my own part, I do not fee the politic of opening common letters, directed to perfons generally known; for a man's understanding would be very weak to convey fecrets by the poft, if he knew any, which,

I declare, I do not; and befides I think the world is already fo well informed by plain events, that I queftion whether the Minifters have any fecrets at all. Neither would I be under any apprehenfion if a letter fhould be fent me full of treafon; because I cannot hinder people from writing what they pleafe, nor fending it to me; and altho' it should be difcover'd to have been open'd before it came to my hand, I would only burn it, and think no further. I approve of the scheme you have to grow fomewhat richer, though, I agree, you will meet with dif couragements; and it is reafonable you fhould, confidering what kind of pens are at this time only employed and encouraged. For you muft allow that the bad painter was in the right, who, having painted a cock, drove away all the cocks and hens, and even the chickens, for fear thofe who paffed by his fhop might make a comparison with his work. And I will fay one thing in fpite of the Poft-officers, that fince Wit and Learning began to be made use of in our kingdoms, they were never profeffedly thrown afide, contemned, and punished, till within your own memory; nor Dulness and Ignorance ever fo openly encouraged and promoted. In answer to what you lay of my living among you, if I could do it to my eafe: perhaps you have heard of a scheme for an exchange in Berkfhire propofed by two of our friends; but befides the difficulty of adjufting certain circunftances, it would not anfwer. I am at a time of life that feeks eafe and independence; you'll hear my reafons when you fee those friends; and I concluded them with faying, That I would rather be a freeman among flaves, than a flave among freemen. The dignity of my prefent ftation damps the pertnefs of inferior puppies and fquires, which, without plenty and eafe on your fide the channel, would break ny heart in a month.

Madam,

See what it is to live where I do. I am utterly igno rant of that fame Strado del Poe; and yet, if that Author be against lending or giving money, I cannot but think him a good Courtier; which, I am fure, your Grace is not, no not fo much as to be a Maid of honour. For I am certainly informed, that you are neither a free-thinker, nor can fell bargains; that you can neither fpell, nor talk, nor write, nor think like a Courtier; that you pretend to be refpe&ted for qualities which have been out of

fashion

fashion ever fince you were almoft in your cradle; that your contempt for a fine petticoat is an infallible mark of difaffection; which is further confirmed by your ill-tafte for Wit, in perferring two old-fashion'd poets, before Duck or Cibber. Befides, you spell in fuch a manner as no court-lady can read, and write in fuch an old- fashion'd ftyle as none of them can understand.- You need not be in pain about Mr. Gay's ftock of health. I promife you he will fpend it all upon lazinefs, and run deep in debt by a winter's repofe in town; therefore I entreat you Grace will order him to move his chops lefs, and his legs more the fix cold months, elfe he will spend all his money in phyfic and coach-hire. I am in much perplexity about your Grace's declaration, of the manner in which you difpofe what you call your love and refpe&t, which, you fay, are not paid to Merit but to your own Humour. Now, Madam, my misfortune is, that I have nothing to plead but abundance of Merit, and there goes an ugly obfervation, that the Humour of ladies is apt to change. Now, Madam, if I fhould go to Aimfbury with a great load of Merit, and your Grace happen to be out of humour, and will not purchase my merchandize at the price of your refpect, the goods may be damaged, and nobody elie will take them off my hands. Befides, you have declared Mr. Gay to hold the first part, and I but the fecond; which is hard treatment, fince I fhall be the neweft acquaintance by fome years; and I will appeal to all the reft of your fex, whether fuch an innovation ought to be allowed? I fhould be ready to fay in the common forms, that I was much oblig'd to the Lady who wifh'd fhe could give the beft living etc. if I did not vehemently fufpect it was the very fame Lady who spoke many things to me in the fame ftyle, and also with regard to the gentleman at your elbow when you writ, whofe dupe he was as well as of her Waiting-woman; but they were both arrant knaves, as I told him and a third friend, though they will not believe it to this day. I defire to prefent my most humble refpects to my Lord Duke, and with my heartieft prayer for the profperity of the whole family, remain your Grace's, etc,

I

LETTER LXI.

To Mr. PoPE.

Dublin, June 12, 1731.

Doubt, habit hath little power to reconcile us with fickness attended by pain. With me, the lowness of fpirits hath a moft unhappy effect; I am grown lefs patient with folitude, and harder to be pleas'd with company; which I could formerly better digeft, when I could be. eafier without it than at prefent. As to fending you any thing that I have written fince I left you (either verse or profe) I can only fay, that I have order'd by my Will, that all my Papers of any kind fhall be deliver'd you to difpofe of as you please. I have feveral things that I have had schemes to finish, or to attempt, but I very fooolishly put off the trouble, as finners do their repentance: for I grow every day more averfe from writing, which is very natural, and, when I take a pen, fay to myself a thoufand times, non eft tanti. As to thofe papers of four or five years paft, that you are pleas'd to require foon; they confift of little accidental things writ in the country; family amufements, never intended further than to divert ourfelves and fome neighbours: or fome effects of anger on Public Grievances here, which would be infignificant out of this kingdom. Two or three of us had a fancy, three years ago, to write a weekly paper, and call it an Intelligencer. But it continued not long; for the whole Volume (it was reprinted in London, and, I find, you have seen it) was the work only of two, myself and Dr. Sheridan. If we could have got fome ingenious young man to have been the manager, who should have published all that might be fent to him, it might have continued longer, for there were hints enough. But the Printer here could not afford fuch a young man one farthing for his trouble, the fale being fo fmall, and the price one halfpenny; and fo it dropt. In the Volume you faw (to anfwer your queftions) the 1, 3, 5. 7, were mine. Of the 8th I writ only the Verfes, (very uncorrect, but against a fellow we all hated) the 9th mine, the 10th only the Verfes, and of thofe not the four laft flovenly lines; the 15th is a Pamphlet of mine printed before with Dr. Sh-'s Preface, merely for laziness not to disappoint the town; and fo was the 19th, which contains only a parcel of facts relating purely to the miferies of Ireland, and wholly useless

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