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A C T III.
The Street before Antipholis's Houfe.
Enter Antipholis of Ephefus, Dromio of Ephefus, Angelo, and Balthazar.
OOD Signior Angelo, you must excuse us; J My wife is fhrewifh, when I keep not hours; Say, that I linger'd with you at your shop To fee the making of her carkanet'; And that to-morrow you will bring it home. But here's a villain, that would face me down He met me on the mart, and that I beat him; And charg'd him with a thousand marks in gold; And that I did deny my wife and house: Thou drunkard, thou, what didft thou mean by this ? E. Dro. Say what you will, Sir; but I know what I know;
That you beat me at the mart, I have your hand to fhow;
If the skin were parchment, and the blows you gave were ink,
Your own hand-writing would tell you what I think. E. Ant. I think, thou art an afs.
E. Dro. Marry, fo it doth appear 2
By the wrongs I fuffer, and the blows I bear;
Carkanet seems to have been a necklace, or rather chain, perhaps hanging down double from the neck. So Lovelace in his poem, The Empres fpreads her carcanets. Marry, fo it doth appear By the rangs I fuffer, and the Blues I bear; ] Thus all the printed copies; but, cer
tainly, This is Crofs-purposes in Reafoning. It appears, Dromio is an Afs by his making no Refiftance: because an Afs, being kick'd, kicks again. Our Author never argues at this wild Rate, where his Text is genuine.
THEOBALD. I do not think this emenda,
I should kick, being kickt; and, being at that pafs, You would keep from my heels, and beware of an afs. E. Ant. Y'are fad, Signior Balthazar. Pray God, our cheer
May anfwer my good will, and your good welcome here. Bal. I hold your dainties cheap, Sir, and your welcome dear.
E. Ant. Ah, Signior Balthazar, either at flesh or fish, A table-full of welcome makes fcarce one dainty dish. Bal. Good meat, Sir, is common : that every churl affords.
E. Ant. And welcome more common; for that's nothing but words.
Bal. Small cheer, and great welcome, makes a merry feaft.
E. Ant. Ay, to a niggardly host, and more sparing gueft:
But tho' my cates be mean, take them in good part; Better cheer may you have, but not with better heart. But, foft; my door is lockt; go bid them let us in. E. Dro. Maud, Bridget, Marian, Cicely, Gillian, Ginn!
S. Dro. (within) Mome, malt-horfe, capon, coxcomb, idiot, patch!
Either get thee from the door, or fit down at the hatch: Doft thou conjure for wenches, that thou call'ft for fuch store,
When one is one too many? go, get thee from the door.
E. Dro. What patch is made our porter? my mafter ftavs in the street.
S. Dro. Let him walk from whence he came, left he catch cold on's feet.
tion neceffary. He firft fays, that his wrongs and blows prove him an af; but immediately, with a correction of his former fentiment, fuch as may be hour
ly obferved in converfation, he obferves, that, if he had been an ass, he fhould, when he was kicked, have kicked again.
E. Ant. Who talks within there? hoa, open the door. S. Dro. Right, Sir, I'll tell you when, an you'll tell me wherefore.
E. Ant. Wherefore? for my dinner: I have not din'd to day.
S. Dro. Nor to-day here you must not: come again, when you may.
E. Ant. What art thou, that keep't me out from the house I owe?
S. Dro. The porter for this time, Sir, and my name is Dromio.
E. Dro. O villain, thou haft ftoll'n both mine office and my name:
The one ne'er got me credit, the other mickle blame.
Luce. (within) What a coil is there, Dromio? who are those at the gate?
E. Dro. Let my mafter in, Luce.
Luce. Faith, no; he comes too late;
And fo tell your master.
E. Dro. O Lord, I must laugh; Have at you with a Proverb.-Shall I fet in my staff? Luce. Have at you with another; that's, when can you tell?
S. Dro. If thy name be call'd Luce, Luce, thou haft anfwer'd him well.
E. Ant. Do you hear, you minion, you'll let us in, I trow ?
Luce. I thought to have afkt you.
S. Dro. And you faid, no.
E. Dro. So, come, help, well ftruck; there was blow for blow.
E. Ant. Thou baggage, let me in.
E. Ant. You'll cry for this, minion, if I beat the door down.
Luce. What needs all that, and a pair of stocks in the town?
Adr. (within) Who is that at the door, that keeps. all this noife?
S. Dro. By my troth, your town is troubled with unruly boys.
E. Ant. Are you there, wife? you might have come before.
Adr. Your wife, Sir knave! go, get you from the door.
E. Dro. If you went in pain, mafter, this knave would go fore.
Ang. Here is neither cheer, Sir, nor welcome; we would fain have either.
Bal. In debating which was beft, we shall have part with neither 3.
E. Dro. They ftand at the door, mafter; bid them welcome hither.
E. Ant. There's fomething in the wind, that we cannot get in.
E. Dro. You would fay fo, mafter, if your garments were thin.
Your cake here is warm within: you ftand here in the cold:
It would make a man mad as a buck to be fo bought and fold.
E. Ant. Go fetch me fomething, and I'll break ope the gate.
S. Dro. Break any thing here, and I'll break your knave's pate.
3 The reading was thus:
quires us to read, we shall
E. Dro. A man may break a word with you, Sir; aud words are but wind:
Ay, and break it in your face, fo he break it not behind. S. Dro. It feems, thou wanteft breaking; out upon thee, hind!
E. Dro. Here's too much, out upon thee! I pray thee, let me in.
S. Dro. Ay, when fowls have no feathers, and fishhave no fin.
E. Ant. Well, I'll break in; go borrow me a crow. E. Dro. A crow without feather, mafter, mean you fo? For a fifh without a fin, there's a fowl without a feather; If a crow help us in, firrah, we'll pluck a crow together. E. Ant. Go, get thee gone, fetch me an iron crow. Bal. Have patience, Sir: oh, let it not be fo. Herein you war against your reputation, And draw within the compafs of fufpect Th'unviolated honour of your wife.
Once, this; your long experience of her wisdom, Her fober virtue, years, and modefty,
Plead on her part fome cause to you unknown;
And doubt not, Sir, but fhe will well excufe,
Why at this time the doors are barr'd against you.
Be rul'd by me, depart in patience,
And let us to the Tyger ali to dinner;
And about evening come yourself alone,
To know the reafon of this ftrange restraint.
If by strong hand you offer to break in,
* Supposed by the common rout.] For fuppofe I once thought it might be more commodious to fubftitute Supported; but there is VOL. III.
no need of change: Juppofed is, founded on fuppofition, made by conjecture.