There's now no fear of wounds nor maiming,
All dangers are reduc'd to famine,
And feats of arms, to plot, design,
Surprize, and ftratagem, and mine;
But have no need nor use of
courage,
Unless it be for glory' or forage:
For if they fight, 'tis but by chance,
When one fide venturing to advance,
And come uncivilly too near,
Are charg'd unmercifully' i' th' rear,
And forc'd, with terrible refiftance,
To keep hereafter at a distance;
For men are found the ftouter-hearted,
The certainer they 're to be parted,
And therefore poft themfelves in bogs,
As th' ancient mice attack'd the frogs,
And made their mortal enemy,
The water-rat, their ftrict ally.
For 'tis not now who 's ftout and bold?
But who bears hunger beft, and cold?
And he 's approv'd the most deserving,
Who longest can hold out at starving;
And he that routs moft pigs and cows,
The formidableft man of prowess,
So th' Emperor Caligula,
That triumph'd o'er the British sea,
Took crabs and oysters prisoners,
And lobsters, 'stead of cuiraffiers;
Engag'd his legions in fierce buftles,
With periwinkles, prawns, and muffels,
And led his troops with furious gallops,
To charge whole regiments of scallops ;
Not like their ancient way of war,
To wait on his triumphal car ;
But, when he went to dine or fup,
More bravely ate his captives up,
And left all war, by his example,
Reduc'd to victualing of a camp well
Quoth Ralph, By all that you have said,
And twice as much that I could add,
'Tis plain you cannot now do worse
Than take this out-of-fashion'd course;
To hope, by ftratagem, to wooe her,
Or waging battle to fubdue her;
Though fome have done it in romances,
And bang'd them into amorous fancies;
As thofe who won the Amazons,
By wanton drubbing of their bones;
And ftout Rinaldo gain'd his bride
By courting of her back and fide.
But, fince thofe times and feats are over,
They are not for a modern lover,
When mistreffes are too cross-grain'd
By fuch addresses to be gain'd;
And if they were, would have it out
With many another kind of bout.
Therefore I hold no courfe fo infeasible,
As this of force, to win the Jezabel,
To storm her heart, by th' antic charms
Of ladies errant, force of arms;
But rather strive by law to win her,
And try the title you have in her.
Your cafe is clear, you have her word,
And me to witness the accord;
Befides two more of her retinue
To testify what pafs'd between you;
More probable, and like to hold,
Than hand, or feal, or breaking gold,
For which fo many, that renounc'd
Their plighted contracts, have been trounc'd,
And bills upon record been found,
That forc'd the ladies to compound;
And that, uniefs I mifs the matter,
Is all the bufinefs you look after.
Befides, encounters at the bar
Are braver now than thofe in war,
In which the law does execution,
With lefs diforder and confufion;
Has more of honour in 't, fome hold,
Not like the new way, but the old,
When those the pen had drawn together,
Decided quarrels with the feather,
And winged arrows kill'd as dead,
And more than bullets now of lead
So all their combats now, as then,
Are manag'd chiefly by the pen ;
That does the feat, with braver vigours,
In words at length, as well as figures;
Is judge of all the world performs
In voluntary feats of arms,
And, whatsoe'er 's atchiev'd in fight,
Determines which is wrong or right:
For, whether you prevail or lose,
All must be try'd there in the close;
And therefore 'tis not wife to fhun
What you must truft to ere ye 've done.
The law, that fettles all you do,
And marries where you did but wooe;
That makes the most perfidious lover,
A lady, that 's as falfe, recover;
And, if it judge upon your fide,
Will foon extend her for your bride,
And put her person, goods, or lands,
Or which you like heft, int' your hands.
For law's the wifdom of all ages,
And manag`d by the ablest sages;
Who, though their bufinefs at the bar
Be but a kind of civil war,
In which they' engage with fiercer dudgeons
Than e'er the Grecians did, and Trojans,
They never manage the conteft
Timpair their public intereft,
Or by their controverfies lessen
The dignity of their profeffion :
VOL. II.
Not like us Brethren, who divide
Our Common-wealth, the Caufe, and fide;
And, though we 're all as near of kindred
As th' outward man is to the inward,
We agree in nothing, but to wrangle
About the slightest fingle-fangle;
While lawyers have more fober fenfe,
Than t' argue at their own expence,
But make their best advantages
Of others' quarrels, like the Swifs;
And, out of foreign controverfies,
By aiding both fides, fill their purses ;
But have no intereft in the cause
For which they' engage, and wage the laws,
Nor further profpect than their pay,
Whether they lose or win the day.
And, though they' abounded in all ages
With fundry learned clerks and fages;
Though all their business be difpute,
Which way they canvass every fuit,
They 've no disputes about their art,
Nor in polemics controvert;
While all profeffions else are found
With nothing but disputes t' abound:
Divines of all forts, and physicians,
Philofophers, mathematicians;
The Galenift and Paracelfian,
Condemn the way each other deals in;
Ver. 475.] Galen was born in the year 130, and lived to the year 200. Paracelfus was born the latter
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