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THE INNOCENT THEFT.

TO THE REV. DR.

BY THE SAME.

YOU tell us, Doctor, 'tis a fin to feal;
We to your practice from your text appeal.
You fteal a fermon, steal a nap; and, pray,
From dull companions don't you fteal away?

AN INCIDENT IN HIGH LIFE.

BY THE SAME.

THE Bucks had din'd, and deep in council fat;
Their wine was brilliant-but their wit grew flat :

Up ftarts his Lordship, to the window flies,
And lo!" a race! a race!" in rapture cries:

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"Where?" quoth Sir John. "

Why fee, two drops of rain

"Start from the fummit of the crystal pane :

"A thousand pounds! which drop with nimbleft force "Performs its current down the flippery course!" The bets were fix'd; in dire fufpence they wait For victory, pendant on the nod of fate. Now down the fafh, unconfcious of the prize, The bubbles roll-like pearls from Cloe's eyes.

But, ah! the glitt'ring joys of life are short! How oft too jostling steeds have spoil'd the sport ! Lo! thus attraction, by coercive laws,

Th' approaching drops into one bubble draws.

Each curs'd his fate, that thus their project crofs'd; How hard their lot who neither won nor loft!

THE CONSULTATION.

BY THE SAME.

THREE Doctors, met in confultation,

Proceed with great deliberation ;

The cafe was defperate, all agreed;

But what of that? they must be fee'd.

They write then, (as 'twas fit they should)
But for their own, not patient's good.
Confulting wifely (don't mistake, Sir)
Not what to give, but what to take, Sir!

BONS MOTS: OR, OLD STORIES.

BY THE SAME.

L'Epigramme-.

N'eft fouvent qu'un Bon Mot.

I.

BOILEAU.

AS a Weft-country Mayor, with formal addrefs, Was making his speech to the haughty Queen Bess; "The Spaniard," quoth he, "with inveterate spleen, "Has prefum'd to attack you, a poor virgin queen ; "But your Majesty's courage has made it appear, "That the Don had ta'en the wrong fow by the ear:"

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OLD South, a witty Churchman reckon'd,

Was preaching once to Charles the Second,

But much too ferious for a court,
Who at all preaching make a sport:
He foon perceiv'd his audience nod,
Deaf to the zealous man of God.

The Doctor ftopp'd; began to call,

"Pray, 'wake the Earl of Lauderdale :

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My Lord! why, 'tis a monftrous thing!

"You fnore fo loud, you'll 'wake the King."

III.

ON A DISPUTE BETWEEN DR. RADCLIFFE AND

SIR GODFREY KNELLER.

SIR Godfrey and Radcliffe had one common way,
Into one common garden, and each had a key:
Quoth Kneller, "I'll certainly ftop up that door,
"If ever I find it unlock'd any more."

"Your threats," replies Radcliffe, “ disturb not my ease;
"And, fo you don't paint it, e'en do what you please."
"You're fmart," rejoins Kneller; "but, say what you will,
"I'll take any thing from you-but potion or pill."

IV.

A CLOWN'S APOLOGY TO THE DOCTOR.

AS honeft Richard, a fubftantial clown,

Had brought his corn, one market-day, to town, He met the Doctor, who look'd vaftly big, And fternly frown'd beneath his awful wig. The clown, whose heart still ran upon his treasure, Thus guess'd the cause of Syringe's displeasure : "I ha'n't been lately at your shop," quoth Dick, "But don't be angry-for I ha'n't been fick."

V.

THE DOCTOR'S ARMS.

A DOCTOR, who, for want of skill,
Did fometimes cure-and fometimes kill;
Contriv'd at length, by many a puff,
And many a bottle fill'd with stuff;
To raise his fortune, and his pride;
And in a coach, forfooth! must ride.
His family coat long fince worn out,
What arms to take was all the doubt.

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