A friend, confulted on the cafe,

Thus answer'd with a fly grimace:

"Take fome device in your own way,

"Neither too folemn, nor too gay;

"Three Ducks, fuppofe; white, grey, or black; "And let your Motto be Quack! Quack!"

VI.

THE EMPTY GUN.

AS Dick and Tom in fierce difpute engage, And, face to face, the noify contest wage; "Don't cock your chin at me!" Dick smartly cries; "Fear not! his head's not charg'd"—a friend replies.

VII.

ANCIENT MUSIC.

A VIRTUOSO friend, a man of worth,

With much surprise addrefs'd my good Lord North :. "I wonder how your Lordship can forbear

"The pleasure of our famous club to share;

"Who meet the ancient mufic to restore :

"Such harmony you never heard before.

"Pray come, my Lord; th' effect's beyond belief; "Brownlow* attends."- Yes, Sir; but I'm not deaf.'

EPIGRAMS FROM MARTIAL.

BY THE SAME.

EP. 44. LIB. 111. MODERNISED.

THE IMPERTINENT POET+.

YOU often wonder what the devil

Can make the town fo damn'd uncivil.
With what indifference they treat you!

There's not a foul that cares to meet you!
Where'er you come, what confternation!
What univerfal defolation!-

"But for the caufe !"-Why, muft you know it?
I'll tell you ;-you're too great a Poet;

Bishop of Worcester, faid to be a little deaf.

+ Printed in Fielding's "Champion," 1743,

And that's a thing true Britons fear,
More than a tyger or a bear.

Your man of fense, of all God's curfes,
Dreads nothing, like repeating verfes.

And really, Tom, you're past all bearing;
You'd tire a Dutchman out with hearing.
One must submit, there's no contending;
You keep one fitting, keep one standing.—
Got loose, with more than decent speed,
I trudge away-yet you proceed.

Go where one will, there's no retreat;
You're at it still, repeat, repeat!

I fly to Nando's *—you are there,
Still thund'ring diftichs in one's ear:
Thence to the Park-ftill you're as bad;
The Ladies think you drunk or mad:
"But come 'tis late, at three we dine;"
You ftop me with, "a charming line !"
Now down we fit; but lo! repeating
Is greater joy to you than eating.
Quite tir'd, I nod, and try to dose ;-
In vain-you've murder'd all repose.

A Coffee-Houfe, near Temple-Bar.

But, prithee, Tom, repent in time; You fee the fad effect of rhyme;

(And check this humour if you can)

That fuch an honeft, worthy man;

With fo much fenfe, and fuch good-nature, +Should be fo terrible a creature !

LIB. 2. EP. V.

WITH you, dear Tom! I'd often fpend the day,
And laugh, and chat, and trifle life away;

But ten long miles, you know, divide us twain,
Those ten make twenty, measur'd back again.
Then, o'er the downs with patience fhould I come,
You're always out, at leaft-you're not at home;
Or bufy, or engag'd in rhyme and metre;
Or with your child-that entertaining creature!
In short, to see my friend ten miles I'd go ;
But twenty not to fee you'll never do.

+ Vir juftus, probus, innocens-timeris.

LIB. 2. EP. XLI.

LOVE AND RESPECT.

YES; I fubmit, my Lord; you've gain'd your end:
I'm now your flave, that would have been your friend.
I'll bow, I'll cringe, be fupple as your glove;
Refpect, adore you ev'ry thing, but—love.

LIB. 1. EP. CI.

TO AN AFFECTED OLD MAID.

THO' pappà and mammà, my dear,

So prettily you call,

Yet you, methinks, yourself, appear
The grand-mamma of all.

HAL fays he's poor, in hopes you'll fay he's not;

But take his word for't: Hal's not worth a groat.