There's Burgundy, he lets you know,

There's bright Champaigne's more sprightly juice:

There's Claret too-but all for fhew;

The honeft Port alone's for use.

Thus vex'd, his tortur'd guests complain,
And ftare at what they fear to touch ;
Thus Florio, covetous and vain,

Still does too little-or too much.

KING Bladud once espy'd fome hogs,
Lie wallowing in the fteaming bogs;
Whence iffued forth those fulph'rous springs,
Since honour'd by more potent kings.

Vex'd at the brutes alone poffeffing

What ought to be a common bleffing,
He drove them thence, in mighty wrath,

And built the stately town of Bath.

The hogs-thus banifh'd by the Prince-
Had lurk'd at H- -k ever fince.

THE ECONOMIST.

BY THE SAME.

LAURA, profufe as city dame can be,
Still piques herself on her œconomy:

She ne'er will buy a thing that's dear, she vows,
Yet, by her bargains, pillages her spouse.
"That fet of china was the cheapest thing!—
"Tis fine enough to entertain the king.

This cambric, flily flipp'd into her hand,

Was fuch a bargain-she could not withstand! "That cloth, tho' dear, coft nothing, one may say ;" 'Twill wear for ever, and I know 'twill pay." Then she has bought the finest goose in town; They afk'd three fhillings-but took half-a-crown. "And don't you think this ham prodigious cheap? "We did not want it but, you know, 'twill keep." Her friends with bargains thus poor Laura treats, Laughs at her tradesmen, whilst herself she cheats; But, Laura, ftop in time; too late, I fear, You'll find thefe bargains coft you dev'lish dear.

ΤΟ

ESQ ANTIQUARY, AND F.R.S

BY THE SAME.

GIVE me the thing that's pretty, odd, and
All ugly, old, odd things-I leave to you.

new " ;

DIOGENES TO ARISTIPPUS.

BY THE SAME.

CLOY'D with ragouts, you fcorn my fimple food;
And think good eating is man's only good:

I ask no more than Temperance can give;
You live to eat, I only eat-to live.

ON THE DEATH OF AN EPICURE.

BY THE SAME.

AT length, my friends, the feaft of life is o'er;
I've eat fufficient, I can drink no more:

My night is come; I've spent a jovial day;

'Tis time to part; but, oh!—what is to pay?

ON ERECTING A MONUMENT TO SHAKSPEARE, UNDER THE DIRECTION OF MR. POPE, LORD BURLINGTON, &C.

BY THE SAME.

TO mark her Shakspeare's worth, and Britain's love,
Let Pope defign, and Burlington approve :
Superfluous care! when distant times shall view
This tomb grown old-his works fhall ftill be new.

ON A BAD SINGER. FROM LUCILIUS.

BY THE SAME.

WHEN fcreech-owls fcream, their note portends To frighted mortals, death of friends;

But when Corvino strains his throat,

E'en fcreech-owls ficken at the note.

ON A PILFERING QUACK.

AN EPIGRAM FROM THE GREEK.

BY THE SAME..

CELSUS takes off, by dint of fkill,

Each bodily disaster;

But takes off spoons, without a pill,

Your plate, without a plaster.

THE RIVAL BEAUTIES. FROM RUFINUS.

BY THE SAME.

THREE lovely nymphs, contending for the prize,
Display'd their charms before my critic eyes :
Superior beauties heighten'd every grace,

And feem'd to mark them of celeftial race:
But I, who, blefs'd like Paris, fear'd his fall,
Swore each a Venus was,—and pleas'd them all.

THE MISER'S VAULTS.

BY THE SAME.

Servata centum clavibus. HOR.

THY cellars, friend, may juftly vaults be ftyl'd,
Where casks on casks, on bottles bottles pil'd,
By locks and bolts so closely are confin'd,
Thy liquor's dead-and buried to mankind.